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World War I: Battles of Absolute Destruction
World War I: Battles of Absolute Destruction is the fourth installment of the War Series release in early 2017. The video is the most unique production wise in that the project was neither Jack or Eric's, but still heavily influenced by them. The video shows 3 major events in the WWI timeline with the first being the Christmas truce of 1914, then the Battle of Belleau wood, and finally the Battle of the Argonne Forest. The video is viewed with mixed feelings by the dudes since it has good looking outfits and funny jokes, yet terrible narration by Dan prompting most to stop watching or skip to scenes without it. Plot The video begins with random stock footage of Doughboys fighting and putting a box on the head of an unsuspecting German while Dan does a poop job narrating about how the Christmas truce came about when everyone was sick of fighting. Christmas Truce The Christmas truce begins with an allied assault on the German trenches led by The Frenchman. Two Germans know as Pinhead Larry and Schmitler are defending behind a barbed wire wall while a combined French-British Indian force launches their attack. A French Foreign Legionnaire runs forward asking for a Christmas truce but is then shot dead to the song "I just died in your arms tonight" by Cutting Crew. Then the British Indian soldier, known as Corporal Babu, runs forward also attempting to call a truce. Pinhead Larry then accepts the offer to both sides joy besides the Frenchman since he is appalled that his comrade was just killed. The Germans gingerly cross the barbed wire and both sides stand face to face and begin shaking hands. The Frenchman suddenly pulls out a glove and slaps Pinhead Larry in the face shocking him and the others present. Then The Frenchman goes in for a handshake bringing peace between the two sides. In the next scene The Frenchman and Pinhead Larry are shown sitting next to each other while the other soldiers converse. Larry takes the spike off his pickelhaube and begins to shave his mustache. The Frenchman watches this and then Larry offers him the spike so he may also shave. After this The Germans and Babu are seen arguing whether schnitzels or doughnuts are the better food. While this is happening The Frenchman goes to pay his respects to his fallen ally when suddenly he arises shouting "I'M SLAIN!!!". He then resumes being dead with everyone witnessing the event stunned. The Frenchman quickly recomposes himself and then heads to the other soldiers to propose the baguette as the superior food. The sides then begin arguing more intensely with Larry yelling how the doughnut is the worst, the baguette is pretty good, and the schnitzel as the absolute best. Babu then attempts to copy this energy but he is a silly Indian man and cannot. In the end of the section the opposing sides are then seen returning to their trenches saying goodbye in their native languages. The Frenchman remarks to Babu how happy the German were before both sides immediately reengage in the attack. The Frenchman, being an omnipresent entity, never truly dies since he reincarnates later, but this form was shredded by Schmitler's machine gun fire. Babu then manages to shoot Schmitler with his Lee Enfield but then Larry manages to hit him exclaiming schnitzel while Babu utters his last word, "doughnut". Larry stands triumphantly but is then suddenly shot by the Legionnaire who arose once again. Then the Legionnaire decides to die one last time for good ending the Christmas Truce. Narration Once again Dan's lousy narration provides information now for the Battle of Belleau Wood. In the two intermediary scenes there is a big brawl between U.S. soldiers and Germans. Then the second German is boxed by a Doughboy creating the famous boxer, Boxhead Kevin. Belleau Wood Here the video shifts to its focus on U.S. involvement which carries on the for the remainder of the video. The section begins with several Germans advancing on a U.S. defensive position. One German yells out, "We are coming to get you stupid Americans!", to which the Americans seem to doubt. The Germans act on their word in a brief exchange of fire killing all but one of the Doughboys. He then flees telling the Germans to stay there and that he would come back with more guys. Germans are known to break the rules as seen when the American does come back with his reinforcements the Germans took the defensive point. The Doughboy is outraged at this yelling how they were not supposed to move but the Germans do not care, they repulse the Americans into retreat. After this the Germans are then sitting down discussing how easy it was to fight of the U.S. Just then the Americans come back for the third time surprising the Germans by walking right up behind them. The Americans then resume their position securing victory for the battle. FRIEDRICH DER DESTROYER OF WORLDS In this intermediate scene Dan is speaking more incomprehensible gibberish while the ultimate warrior, FRIEDRICH DER DESTROYER OF WORLDS, is flanking around Doughboy lines by himself. At first the camera is from his eye level perspective showing him single handely sneak around the U.S. flank before knocking on a machine gunner's helmet. He then lifts the man twice his size throwing him into the ground, and then shooting him in the face with his REICHSREVOLVER. Then the perspective changes to 3rd person allowing the viewer to witness the chaos that occured. After a repeat of these actions FRIEDRICH then takes the enemy Lewis machine gun and mows down the remaing two soldiers before returning to his trench. Another scene of Germans fighting is then shows since Dan's god awful stuttering is slowing down the narration featuring the iconic Joe's death. Argonne Forest The next portion displays the battle of the Argonne Forest showing the characters Captain Indzonka, Lieutenant Bushta, and Private Johnston, also featured in the original WWI: TW. In the opening a few Germans are shown drawing up their defensive battle plan outlining the several places they will shoot any Americans. After some debate they agreed on the several places to shoot. Then the Americans are seen walking on a three man patrol while Indzonka questions how Johnston managed to get ahold of a new Browning Automatic Rifle (BAR). Johnston tells of how he swiped it from a supply shipment saying "If I see the loot I gots to take it". Indzonka then asks how he intends to shoot it correctly with no training which Johnston brushes off reasoning he would figure it out. Suddenly the squad stumble upon the German position taking them by surprise and after a momentary pause, The Captain yells to run back. The Germans fire on the Americans, mostly missing due to sick jukes, but a shot is land on Sergeant Bushta's butt. The Americans all reach their fallback line and begin to return fire while Indzonka manages to come up with a plan. He then orders Bushta to lay down suppressing fire so he and Johnston could try and outmaneuver the enemy attacking their flank. The Germans are forced to take cover firing shots when they can causing them not to see the enemy. Eventually the Doughboys make it around surprising the Germans who noticed too late with Indzonka shooting one with his rifle, and Johnston eliminating the remaining with the BAR. Indzonka then yells out to Bushta that the enemy were defeated, and the section draws to a close. Additional scenes Bloopers are shown at the end of the video as well as an additional scene of a wrestling match between the German, Boxhead Kevin and the American, John Cena, (Not to mistaken with the professional wrestler who shares the same name). The match has a French announcer sitting at a table with another German and American in the audience. Cena manages to defeat Kevin in a rather short match with the American on the sideline cheering but then unexpectedly, the incredible force of nature known as the RKO German arrives performing an excellent RKO on Cena eliminating him. The American in a rage then assaults the other German audience member. The announcer watches this unexpected interaction, and then turns back to the camera saying "We will be back after this short break", bringing an end to the video as the credits role. Trivia - Jack and Eric did not have a history class in the 11th grade so they jumped at the chance to create another video with Jack providing the video with uniforms, weapons, and locations. - This is one the only traditional war video edited by Michael instead of Eric. - Joe Tonnies was supposed to be in this video, but his mother had a meltdown after she convinced herself the dudes would be firing live rounds at each other. This led to her forcibly moving Joe into another project for the class, and endless ridicule from the guys. - Dan sucks at speaking - The video was originally planned to be in black and white to avoid the obvious color difference in the mix matched uniforms. Michael however when editing deemed the video to be much nicer looking in color keeping it as such to everyone's approval once they saw the final product. -Before filming the guys spent a day building some prop guns, the one mock Lee Enfield that was made out of the gift shop musket is missing please if you know where it is tell Jack its been so long. IMG_4736.PNG|Pinhead Larry and Schmitler defending IMG_4875.PNG|Allied assault IMG 4873.PNG|I just died in your arms tonight IMG 4872.PNG|Pls no fight IMG_4689.PNG|Le slap IMG_4690.PNG|Le shave IMG 4767.PNG|Schnitzel, Baguette, Doughnut IMG_4876.PNG|Bye bye IMG_4877.PNG|Dead IMG_4878.PNG|Brawl IMG_4755.PNG|About to be boxed IMG_4879.PNG|The enemy are firing IMG_4880.PNG|They were here last time IMG_4738.PNG|That was pretty easy ja? IMG_4739.PNG|Oh darn IMG_4740.PNG|FRIEDRICH DER DESTROYER OF WORLDS IMG_4742.PNG|We shoot them here IMG_4881.PNG|If I see the loot IMG_4882.PNG|GO BACK IMG_4743.PNG|Shooting them here, here, and here IMG_4883.PNG|Flanking maneuver IMG_4884.PNG|From the rear IMG_4752.PNG|RKOOOOOO IMG_4885.PNG|We will be back after this short break Category:Films